you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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