Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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