Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
