trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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