i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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