question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
