he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Sober January is a disaster.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
