I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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