she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
