Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
