So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
