Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
