TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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