two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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