Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
