I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
