dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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