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Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
