i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My bed smells like the plague
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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