My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
