the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
