so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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