even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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