that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
