Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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