Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
