I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
