Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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