I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
