the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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