U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
