why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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