He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
