Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
