The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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