Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
