At least make sure they are 18
Why
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
