i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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