Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
