I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
