You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
operation have a gay friend backfired
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
