love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
