Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I love black thongs
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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