come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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