You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
