I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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