Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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