I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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