I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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