??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Randomize
