My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
