Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
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I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
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I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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