You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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