Cold hands, warm shart.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
