Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
