Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
