no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
My Higher Power is John Stamos
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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