I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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