Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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