Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
