I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
