Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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