Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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