VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
