White coat. Heels.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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