i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
