There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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