You're completely useless in the revolution.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
