I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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