she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
