dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
