I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
