my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
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It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
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jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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